Oh, Boy!

Let's face it, boys are weird. Then they grow up to be men and are weirder still. Don't get me wrong, I love boys. I better, I have two: 4 and 1. But they already do things that are incomprehensible to me, like peeing on the sidewalk or shoving each other off the furniture repeatedly while screaming with laughter. I have always been kind of a book nerd, so naturally I turned to books to try to figure them out.

Parenting books usually present a wide array of 'expert parenting advice' that conflicts. The cry-it-out or for God's-sake-don't-cry-it-out debate, for example. But, interestingly, the books on boys I've read are generally in agreement, and not very surprising:

Boys are different than girls, and typically more active and aggressive;

Boys may commonly relate to one another through competition, rather than cooperative play;

They don't take in what you are saying as readily as girls; and

It is natural for them to 'clam up' where girls might be more likely to share how they feel.

And, I have already found these things to be true, without question. Great, now what? There is also a high degree of agreement on parenting advice:

When you talk to them, make sure they are making eye contact with you- this may help them absorb what you say.

Encourage them to run around; some boys may even improve learning by practicing spelling, times tables or other tasks while doing something physical, such as jumping rope or bouncing a basketball.

Develop activities to do together; boys are more likely to share their thoughts and feelings while engaged in some other activity: fishing, model building, wood carving, knitting, whatever.

By far, though, the most important thing is time with Dad. I swear, some of the books come thisclose to telling the moms just to get out of the way. If you're a Dad, spend as much time as you can with your boys. If you're a mom, help your husband and sons spend time together, and hit the spa.

Books:

The Men They Will Become, Eli Newberger
Real Boys, William Pollack
Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson