TDY: Temporarily Doin'it Yourself

It must be Thanksgiving because it's TDY time again. And this time, well, it's the same as usual. The house looks like a laundry bomb hit it as my husband "packed" for the trip. The kitchen shows signs of "going away" meals and the last bits of Thanksgiving clean-up. The kids are zooming around on the typical sugar-high and I'm on my own!

Sometimes I complain that I'm a single-parent at times like this, but this offends my husband. I suppose he has every right to be offended because it makes him sound like he's run off on an adventure without any care of what happens back at home. I understand that this literal fact is not true, but on the other hand, when the kids start throwing up, the homework needs to be done, the dinner needs to be cooked, professional responsibilties need to be tended to, the house needs cleaning, and the clothes are all dirty and need washing, for all intense purposes, it is true. I've got no back-up and, for some reason, TDY is often the time when the car starts falling apart or the kids need a middle-of-the-night ER trip. The main difference is that it is, thankfully, temporary.

As military spouses and parents, I think we do live a double-life. We have the life when our spouses are home and the life when they are gone. And, I think, they are two very different lives. Complete and incomplete. I stress out over upcoming TDYs and then stress out about settling back in when they are over. Just when you get the hang of things being one way, it's time for a chance.

While I'm amazingly blessed that Osan provides a unique support system unlike I've ever seen in my many years as a military spouse, the best support system in the world doesn't really change the fact that someone has to get up at three in the morning to change the sheets or if I'm having a spectacularly bad day, there's no relief and that can be a lonely place to be.

On the other hand, TDY time is also when we really find out what it means to be a support system. While we can't always fix every problem and be there for each other in the middle of the night, I know that, if I asked, someone would come and that helps. When I was talking to a new Osanite recently, she was concerned about what would happen if a medical emergency happened while she was so far from her family and I was able to say, without a second of doubt, that there would be help.

Sometimes I wonder how I can be so weak and dependant, then other times I'm amazed at how much strength I have at just "getting through". And, surprisingly, I do always "get through". Sometimes better than others, but always with new lessons learned and a new appreciation for the love and support around me.